Its been a while since butdoisay told you some funny stories that I have  come across.I know you have also realized that its taking ages before I update butdoisay,well,the reason is simple,am too busy,I really miss entertaining my readers but I promise I will try to adjust abit,so that you can read something at least twice a week. 
Anyway,  I have just remembered my high school teacher Mr Shipiri, he never used to like me, reason being I was a dunder head when it came to chemistry.Like sometimes between the lessons he would ask me,what time is it Clay? And I would reply…its 12 something! What do u mean its 12 something? I asked you what time it is,give me the answer.Frankly speaking I was not sure about the minutes,and this was really a challenge.I guess I was the only one with a watch in class.Mr Shipiri would come beside me and whip me like 6 times and then tell me to leave the class,with a kick to send me off…. 
Mr Shipiri had a very funny habit of turning newspapers or books pages,he would lick one of his left fingers in order to flip the pages,but instead of using that same finger with the saliva,he would use his right fingers to flip the pages.Do you wonna try how funny it is? 
Get a newspaper,lick  one of the left fingers,but turn the page with the right hand……hahaha…thats how funny Mr Shipiri was. 
Clay Onyango. 
 

DID YOU
KNOW THESE FACTS?
Death
is certain but the Bible speaks about untimely
death!

I
SURE DIDNT TILL NOW!

Make
a personal reflection about
this…..

Very
interesting, read until the
end…..

It
is written in the Bible (Galatians
6:7):

‘Be
not deceived; God is not mocked:

for
whatsoever a man sow,

that
shall he also reap.
here
are some men and women

who
mocked God :

John
Lennon (Singer):

Some
years before, during his interview with an
American Magazine, he said:

‘Christianity
will end, it will disappear.

I do
not have to argue about
that.
I am certain.
Jesus
was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we
are more famous than Him’
(1966).
Lennon,
after saying that the Beatles were more famous
than Jesus Christ, was shot six
times.

Incredo
Neves
(President of Brazil ):

During
the Presidential campaign, he said if he got
500,000 votes from his party, not even God would
remove him from Presidency.

Sure
he got the votes, but he got sick a day before
being made President, then he
died.

Cazuza
(Bi-sexual
Brazilian composer, singer and
poet):

During
A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro
),

while
smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke
into the air and said:’God, that’s for
you.’

He
died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible
manner.
The
man who built the Titanic
After
the construction of Titanic, a reporter asked him
how safe the Titanic would be.
With
an ironic tone he said:
‘Not
even God can sink it’

The
result:
I think you
all know what happened to the
Titanic
Marilyn
Monroe (Actress)

She
was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation
of a show.
He
said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to
her.

After
hearing what the Preacher had to say, she
said:
I
don’t need your Jesus’.
A
week later, she was found dead in her
apartment

Bon
Scott (Singer)
The
ex-vocalist of the AC/DC.
On one of
his 1979 songs he sang:

‘Don’t
stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the
highway to hell’.

On
the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found
dead, he had been choked by his own
vomit.
Campinas
(IN 2005)
In
Campinas , Brazil a group of friends, drunk, went
to pick up a friend…..
The
mother accompanied her to the car and was so
worried about the drunkenness of her friends and
she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was
already seated in the car:
‘My
Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect
You.’

She
responded: ‘Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk,
Cause Inside Here…..It’ s Already Full

Hours
later, news came by that they had been involved in
a fatal accident, everyone had
died,

the
car could not be recognized what type of car it
had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was
intact

The police
said there was no way the trunk could have
remained intact. To their surprise, inside the
trunk was a crate of eggs, none was
broken

Christine
Hewitt (Jamaican
Journalist and entertainer)
said
the Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever
written.

In
June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition
in her motor vehicle.

Many
more important people have forgotten that there is
no other name that was given so much authority as
the name of Jesus.
many
have died, but only Jesus died and rose again, and
he is still alive.

‘Jesus’

PS:
If it was a
joke, you would have sent it to everyone.

So are
you going to have courage to send
this?.

I have
done my part, Jesus said

‘If
you are embarrassed about me,

I
will also be embarrassed about you before my
father.’

You
are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No
way!

I’M
TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes ‘8 Second
Prayer.’ Just repeat this prayer and see how God
moves!!

‘Lord,
I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and
bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in
Jesus’ name. Amen.’

let God
bless you All.

Clay Onyango

I have been watching the trauma in Haiti since last week, and i have not seen any aid or support from the countries in AFRICA.What has Africa contributed or how is Africa supporting Haitians,who are actually Africans themselves.What are the African leaders doing to help the EU and the US and Asia to help Haiti?What contribution has OAU contributed? Have i missed some good news from Africa?

Our African leaders will start crying of lack of funds due to the bad economy we have,but have  they tried to hold a fundraising  or a harambee as we call it in Kenya to raise money?Or maybe, come up with a telephone number where people can call and acquire contributions?Hollywood has contributed,the US has contributed,Europe has,the Arab countries have not and what about Africa? Being poor does not mean we cannot support HAITI SOMEHOW…….LETS SUPPORT HAITI NOW!!!

Clay Onyango.

When the going gets tough, the tough gets going…..

Clay Onyango.

Keep your attention on the man crossing the road on your left….and watch what happens….UNTIMED DEATH!!!

Clay Onyango.

Last week, I went to buy a van for my business in Gothenburg and on way back just before I got to the next petrol station that was just 40 mins away, the van stopped on the highway between Arboga and Orebro. I had the first alternative of calling a taxi to drive me to the fuel station, but in Arboga, to my amazement, they only have one taxi that is actually private owned.I called 118118 and was connected to the taxi driver who said he was busy but would be available after 2 hours and he was not even sure.The second alternative was to call the breakdown to help me out,I was again connected through 118118.The breakdown asked for 3000kr but would also come after 3 hours or so.I asked them if they would bring the fuel but they said that they wouldnt,they would just come and pull me to the next petrol station.

The temperature was about -25 degrees,on the highway in the middle of no where, I froz like for one hour and then chose the 3rd alternative of calling 112 ,the Swedish emergency telephone number.I explained my problem,and they asked me to call a taxi or a breakdown,i told them I did but they wouldnt help me out.His response was, then we cannot do much.Where are you? I explained ,but he insisted that he could not help.

I froze like for another hour and decided to call 112 again,this time very angry .So you mean if i tell you that am dying on the highway freezing,you wouldnt come to my rescue? “I said we cannot help you, call a cab or a breakdown”.He reckoned.I told him but you guys are the emergency, you should come and help me, I mean you are the police.”No we are not the police, call 114114 they are the police.”What? I wondered,has 112 changed their services or what? Well i tried to call 114114 but it was closed,it never went through.

I went back to calling the taxi driver after 2 hours 30mins and fortunately he said he would come to my rescue in 20mins.He asked me  to walk for about 15 mins so that he does not have to drive all the way on the highway.I came out of the van freezing like hell, I thought there were some nails hitting my face, my balls dissappeared and were frozen like an egg  just within a few seconds,I decided to start running so that I could heat up my body.IT WORKED ABIT.Reached the taxi and bought the fuel.

I had an ordeal,before the taxi came,I went out on the high way, to try and get a lift from a good samaritan.I had to wear my hood to protect my image, that might scare them away,you know “A BLACK MAN”  in the middle of ARBOGA,on the highway.I tried to wave about 8 cars and trucks but all they did was hooted and flashed their lights as they drove by.All in all, I arrived safely but am still wondering,is 112 still working or you have to sound more Swedish to get help??

Clay Onyango.